If there really was a Speedy Rainbow Pizza Company, we reckon they might have a T shirt a bit like this.
Features the 'logo' and the tag line 'Cramming it in your gob since 2017'

If you go down to the hood today ... you'd better wear this embroidered hoodie

You and me—we were meant to be(anie)! Double-layered and made with recycled polyester, this beanie will last you on and on. And with the Let's Hibernate logo embroidered on the front, it's sure to keep you cosy this winter

A black T shirt with the Resist design embroidered in flamingo pink on the left breast

Keep warm this winter with our embroidered Let's Hibernate sweatshirt, with the logo in white stitching

A black zip-up hoodie, featuring the Resist design on the left breast. It's embroidered in flamingo pink and measures approx 6cm wide and 7.5cm tall

Trans people in the UK are under attack, with a government that doesn't care, and an Equality watchdog that's been stacked against them. We can't change much with a single T shirt, but you can let trans people know you stand with them.

Not feeling it? Don't worry - we can't all enjoy Xmas all the time. This printed sweatshirt has a tree and the helpful message "This Xmas, just .... don't! OK?"

We can't guarantee it'll help you avoid arguments, but it's worth a try.